The Lemon Incident
by dani2theela
Summary: John, Ronon and Evan play a prank on Rodney. Naina's just at the wrong place at the wrong time. #8 in the Non-Resident Indian series.


"And for the thousandth time, McKay, I wasn't in your office!"

McKay had radioed me earlier, angry and unnerved about something. He had requested I should come to his lab immediately. On my day off. After years on Atlantis and living in the constant fear of the Wraith attacking or hostile take-overs, I'd started to enjoy my days off and stayed away from any scientific lab. I had done a pretty good job with that...until now.

"Oh yeah? Who was it then? Zelenka is off-world and none of the minions is allowed in here!"

_Minions_?

"I'm telling you, it wasn't me and I have no idea who would want to break in here."

Judging by the annoyed look on his face, he wasn't satisfied with my answer.

"Was anything stolen?", I asked, although I highly doubted that it was the case. "And how do you even know someone was in here?"

"I don't know, it seems fishy." He was looking around in order to answer my initial question.

"_Fishy_?", I asked.

By now, I was unnerved myself and wanted to get out of the lab asap.

"Yeah, you know, Sheppard always says that when something's off. Fishy."

I groaned. "McKay, everything's fine! Trust me. Now can I go-"

"The chocolate!", he exclaimed in a high shriek.

I threw my hands up and didn't even begin to wonder where he'd have stashed chocolate and how he had even gotten it.

He ran to a cabinet and opened it. In that moment, I heard a few continuous clicks and my instincts started to scream "Bomb!", but before I could say anything, a couple of lemons started to fly through the air. McKay screamed out of the top of his lungs, his deadly fear filling the air. He covered his head with his hands and took cover under the table. I myself just ducked and waited for the lemons to land.

A stray lemon landing right in front of Rodney sent him screaming again.

"Oh my god! They're attacking!"

And then everything stopped. Rodney's breathing began to stabilize after a few seconds and he came out of hiding.

"Did you see that?", he asked, his eyes still widened in shock and sheer horror, "they were flying through the air and one landed in front of me and I...oh my God..."

I supressed a laugh and patted McKay's shoulder. "Everything's okay now. It's over."

He looked at me and calmed down. "I told you someone was in here. I bet it was Sheppard and Ronon. I could be dead!"

"Let me get you something to drink." Rodney nodded and sat down on a chair. The moment he let himself fall onto it, I heard another click. Oh no.

Another arsenal of lemons started flying through the air. McKay started screaming, louder than before and ran out of his lab.

"I'm so dead!", he screamed before he was out of earshot.

I laughed and started picking up the lemons, when I heard giggling and whispering outside the door.

I recognized the whispering voices, crossed my arms and put on the most serious face I could come up with. "Alright, come out."

Slowly, a laughing Sheppard came out of hiding, followed by a grinning Ronon and a red-faced Lorne.

"Oh my God! I don't believe you guys!", I exclaimed and threw a lemon to Sheppard, who caught it easily in mid-air. "What are you, 10?"

"Oh come on, that was pretty funny!", Sheppard laughed with a face of a little boy whose prank succeeded. Accordingly.

I tipped my head a little to the side and fixed the boys with my eyes one after the other. I REALLY had the urge to just start laughing, but like with little children, that would just encourage them to pull more pranks and make them think it was a good idea.

Evan looked at me sheepishly, but started smiling when he saw my face. It must've shown my amusement, even though I tried to hide it.

"Come on, you gotta admit, it was brilliant!"

I sighed and shook my head. "Yeah alright, maybe it was a little funny."

"His face though, did you see that?", Ronon chuckled and they started laughing again.

I joined the other three in their laughter. Okay, it was not just a LITTLE funny.

Clapping once, Sheppard was the first to recover from laughing. "Alright, let's go see where he went."

Just as the three of them headed to the door, I stopped them.

"Whoa wait, who's gonna clean that up?", I asked.

A few unlucky lemons had hit the walls and had smashed there, leaving smears all over the place.

A collective "aaaawww" brought my hands to my hips, glaring at the military men in front of me.

"Well?", I asked.

"Loverboy's gonna help you with that", Sheppark winked.

Evan sighed. "Alright, sir, I 'll do it."

Sheppard patted his 2IC on the back, waved at Ronon to follow him and was gone before anybody could say 'lemon'.

"You know, sometimes I wonder...", I started, but was cut off by a kiss from Evan that just wiped my mind blank.

Breaking the kiss for air, he smiled, "You were saying?"

I was looking for the words I wanted to say and after some thinking, it came back to me. Damn, he really was a good kisser.

"Like I said, sometimes I wonder. He's your CO and you and me need to stay professional around him, right? So then he goes and leaves us alone in a room, knowing, what could happen."

"That's Sheppard for you, alright", he answered. I grabbed a bucket started throwing the bigger pieces of lemon in there.

"You know, I wonder", he quoted me, looking around, "how many charges went off earlier?"

I stopped what I was doing and glared at him. Oh no. "Two, why?"

Starting to walk towards him, I wanted to say something when I felt something against my foot. I froze and looked down, but it was too late. Another set of clicks.

"Trip wire", he just said and took cover.

_Oh goddamnit_!

This time, I didn't even take cover and waited it out. A lemon hitting my head set off the madness in my head. I wanted to kill all three of them. I wanted to throw them off a Pier to be the food of whatever was lurking around us in the sea.

Evan looked at me apologetically. He opened his mouth to say something, but I put my hand up to stop him.

"Just...go", I said, anger building up in my stomach.

He walked past me, but turned around and planted a kiss on my cheek. "For what it's worth, you look hot when you're mad."

He was gone before I could respond. Something inside me switched and I started laughing so hard, that eventually tears went down my face. At some point, I had to catch my breath. The scene of Rodney screaming and running for his life kept playing in my head and it became funnier every time.

They might've acted like 10 year olds, but it was the best prank I had seen in a long time.


End file.
